Surrender vs. Resistance

Skirmishes On the Road to My Memoir + A Song for Valentine's Day

Hello Dear fellow Wanderers,

As promised, I am popping in to share an update on the comings and goings of my memoir-in-progress.

Although it is not yet time to pop a cork, the dreams I’m dreaming for the book to become a reality are beginning to feel real. Like a fawn that appears at the edge of the forest as the morning fog lifts, my innocent and precious stories are showing themselves to me in new and promising shafts of wondrous light.

The greatest challenge for me in this complex work is resistance.

Have you ever seen the crumbs and grime that accumulate in your cupboard? The part of your cupboard that is home to obscure spices you rarely use, and the 22 varieties of vinegar whose bottles have rarely been wiped down after use? Well, I have… just this morning.

The hour had come for me to pull up my desk chair, open the ol’ laptop (I once met the person who came up with the term “laptop”, by the way), and begin today’s work on another story of signs from my son-in-spirit, Henry.

“But wait,” my breath caught with a snag of delightful escape. “Look at this sticky cupboard!” I declared as I pulled out the jar of honey. Then I reached for five orphaned spices, next were the delirious apple cider vinegars, 1-2-3 in total, followed by the assorted team of oils, more distant cousins of vinegars, some tired molasses, and finally, the dregs of some vintage liquid smoke.

My desk chair sat waiting, warming up, like our old Dodge minivan used to idle in the driveway on a sub-zero winter day. Warming up to deliver our darling two boys to school.

Classic resistance, my friends, I resist the potential feelings of melancholy, poignancy, and tenderness that writing my memoir from the heart can bring.

And then I think of you.

I care for you.

And I appreciate you.

And when I take a moment to allow these bubbles of my gratefulness to you to fizz up through the stem of the flute, I happily surrender to the task at hand.

And I toast you.

In summary, I have a hefty bag of stories to rewrite, and one more story to write from scratch. I have found the notes on this little treasure. I scribbled them down in the moment, nine years ago. The story includes two signs that prove Henry was with us, and helping a dream come true for us, from the other side. When I relive these experiences, I am filled with love, sorrow, joy, gratitude, and anger, all at the same time. I am like the gummed-up assortment of oils and vinegars, spices and honey jars found in my gooey mess of a cupboard. And yet, I enjoy the surrender to the task.

Deep gratitude to my “ Writer’s Sherpa”, Julie Tallard Johnson, for her understanding and guidance to me and my gooey heart, as we travel together up this steep and rocky climb.

All good wishes to you and yours, whether here, or beyond.

Love from Maggie

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Happy Valentine’s Day! Here is one of my favorite songs to sing. It is called, “Temptation”, and has the word, ‘resist” in it. (A bit of tongue-in-cheek for the memoir theme.) Tis a wooing song for Valentine’s Day! This song is on our recording titled, “The Vegan Zombie’s Lament”, which is the title of a little philosophical tune that Henry wrote.(He also played guitar on the recording and sang some fun back up riffs, but I’ll save that one for another time! ) I hope you enjoy “Temptation.”